0800 FIX NOW 
(0800 349 669) 
160b Selwyn St, Christchurch

0800 FIX NOW 
(0800 349 669) 
160b Selwyn St, Christchurch

Computer Jokes

This blog is entirely jokes – computer jokes. Enjoy! I expect groans.

Why does the computer keep coughing? ....

computer jokes

...  It has a virus.

What is the spider such a good computer user? It knows all about the web.

What are laptops favourite food? Computer chips.

How does a laptop eat computer chips? With mega-bytes.

Why are grey elephants just like computers? They both have tons of memory.

What do you get if you mix an elephant with a computer? Bits of plastic and metal all over the room.

Why shouldn't you be worried when you cross a computer with a dog? Its bark is worse than its byte.

Why did the laptop go to the opticians? It needed to improve its web-sight.

Why was the computer terrible at tennis? It tried to surf the net.

How did the surfer smash his computer? He tried to surf the web.

What is an alien's favourite part of the keyboard? The space bar.

Why did PowerPoint cross the road? To get to the other slide.

What do doors, pianos, and laptops all have in common? They have keys.

Why was the computer late to the meeting? It had a hard drive.

Who did the computer call when it was in need of help? A screen-saver.

How did the robber steal the computer's things? Someone had left a window open.

How did the prisoner get out of computer jail? He pressed the escape key.

Why did the keyboard have a relationship break up? They weren't it’s type.

How do computers climb trees? They log on.

Why was the computer so cold? Someone left the window open.

Why did the chicken cross the computer? To get to the other site.

What do you call a police officer crossed with a computer? P.C. PC

What did Steve Jobs from Apple like to order from Maccas's? A big Mac.

What do people who like waterproof clothing and Apple computers have in common? They like macs.

How did people know Bill Gates farted at Apple Headquarters? There was no Windows.

Why was the computer proud of its child? The child was a micro-chip off the old block.

What's the wood-cutter's favourite bit of his new computer? Logging in.

How many computer programmers are needed to put in a light bulb? None, it's a hardware issue.

Why did Wi-Fi marry the computer? They had a connection.

Why can't the snake use the computer anymore? It ate the mouse.

 

PUNS!

My computer is so slow it hertz.

I love my computer because it sings hit songs to me; it's “a Dell”.

We'll, we'll, we'll... Autocorrect has arrived.

I didn't really mean to punch my keyboard, but the computer said: "Hit any key to continue".

I keep getting emails about canned meat, it's all Spam.

Jack and Jill went up the hill... to get better wireless reception.

If you take my computer, I'll find you. You have my Word.

 

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